Games People Play

The late Eric Berne, an accomplished psychoanalyst, published the seminal book Games People Play in 1961. In his book, Berne chronicles common themes he observed during his many years of practice in a mental hospital. Thomas Harris later popularized his findings in his award-winning book: I’m OK, You’re OK.

Berne clearly presented everyday examples of ways in which human beings get caught up in the games they play. He gave these games memorable titles such as “Now I’ve got you, you sob,” “Wooden leg,” “Why don’t you …”, “Yes, but …”, and “Lets you and him fight.”

People often play games to justify their behavior, be it poor performance, lack of capacity, or just ineptitude. Some of the games are elaborate, others less so. Berne taught us that, left unchecked, the game goes on and on. Improvement requires that the game be confronted and addressed for what it is, a game, that can be a dangerous one. Often the victim of the game is the person engaging in it. Unlike win-lose struggles, the games that people play usually pay all of the players off, even if phenomenally losers, since they are about psychic equilibrium or promoting adopted self-damaging social roles instead of rational benefits. “These payoff are not consciously sought by the players but they are leading to the ultimate unconscious life script of each as set by their parental family transactions and favored emotions.”

Applying the Theory

Our culture is full of games that we play in order to avoid responsibility and escape owning up to our own deficiencies or lack of performance.  In my view, these games impede our social progress and problem solving.

Our politicians are great illusionists. Like great magicians, that they are, they respond to social issues by passing laws and then declare “problem is solved”:

·      There is discrimination in public accommodations. Let’s pass a law making discrimination illegal. Problem solved? Not really? After 50 years, we still see discrimination at play. Never mind that you cannot legislate attitudes and values. Never mind that folks continue to hang on to racist beliefs.

·      People find it difficult to vote. Let’s have a law that prohibits the enactment of policies and practices that inhibit people from voting. Problem solved? Hardly! People are still claiming vote suppression. Never mind that for national security we need to have a better way to identify who is eligible and who is not. Never mind that in some localities there is fraud and malfeasance.

·      People cannot afford to buy health insurance. Let’s force those uninsured to get insurance, and if they cannot afford it, the state will help. Let’s force employers to absorb a rising percentage of the expense. Problem solved? Hardly! Smaller employers are hiring fewer people or they are reducing hours, in order to contain this expense. Never mind that we are just shifting cost elsewhere rather than reducing it.

·      We have too many poor people. Solution? Let’s declare war on poverty. So, let’s adopt a law that makes poverty illegal. Trillions later, the percentage of poor people has not meaningfully declined. Never mind the wisdom of old: Give the poor a fish, he/she will have a nice meal; give the poor a fishing pole and he/she will have many meals.

Most social programs and policies tend to reinforce the game rather than obliterate it. Here are some recent examples:

·      Some, not all, students take educational loans that prove hard to be paid off later on. Whose fault is that? The loan provider or the student? Many blame the loan provider. Lowering the interest rate would solve the problem, you would think? No, some people are still unable to pay off the loan. So, let’s forgive the loan. Never mind that the student did not complete his studies, never mind that the student used the loan for other than its intended use.  Politicians perpetuate the game by colluding with the debtor by blaming the loan giver or its terms (Yes, but … game). What better way than to promise the students that they do not have to pay off the loan at all? What better way to get votes? Not all students play this game, not all students misuse student loans.

·      Members of minorities continue to suffer discrimination in our society, because of their color, ethnicity, gender, age, or sexual preference. Many blame their inability to hold a job, their lack of performance, and their lack of skills on the fact that they are part of a discriminated minority. Policy makers and politicians introduce programs intended to eradicate discrimination. What better way to get some votes? Never mind that the person remains unskilled, that the training they receive is not good enough, and that they continue to perform below standards. The notion here is (Wooden Leg Game), that were it not for discrimination, the individual would do just fine. That might be the case for some, but not for all.

·      There is ample evidence that the pay gap between the top and the bottom of the workforce has grown during the past quarter century. Whose fault is that? Of course, those greedy executives and capitalists (You and him fight game). They have rigged the system so that the common man cannot advance. The judgment of our politicians is quick to arrive. We need laws to increase taxes on the high earners, reduce the gap between the top and the bottom, increase the minimum wage, and so on. Never mind that most, if not all, folks on the lower part of the wage spectrum have failed to update their skills and/or education. Never mind that our quest for cheap products has forced our manufacturing base to go overseas. Never mind that people are already paying high taxes.

Concluding

Berne pointed out that the games that people play are not zero-sum games. On the contrary, the games our politicians play, for example, pay off all of the players, even those who do not deserve it. Politicians get the votes they want, and the voters get something they have not worked for (some may argue that they do not deserve). Wedge politics is a game that preceded Berne’s times. I wonder what he would say about it, were he alive today. By slicing and dicing the population, politicians have mastered the game and taken it the to a new level.

Consequences? Some people will not take responsibility for their own behavior. Others will resent doing the heavy lifting to no benefit to them. Rather than uniting, we are dividing the population. Rather than advancing, we are treading water as a society.

Your thoughts?