Table Manners

Have you observed how people eat? Have you noticed their individual idiosyncrasies? Have you paid attention to your own manners? I suggest that there are lessons we can learn by doing so.

Let’s examine the following styles:

Fast eaters – they rush through the meal. For them time is of the essence. They want to finish first. Who knows, they might have been raised in a large family where slow eaters don’t get much to eat. They don’t seem to savor the food as much in their eagerness to fill their stomachs. Many fast eaters are also big eaters. Most of these types rely on outside supplements to digest their food, e.g., anti-acids.

Slow eaters – they are the opposite; they take it slow all the way savoring every bite and making sure that they have chewed the food correctly. Who knows, they might have been raised in a small family, perhaps they were the only children. They do not seem to be hungry but somehow they manage to polish off their meals. They methodically go about their business and avoid rushing through afraid of getting indigestion. Some psychologists suggest that some of these characters were not weaned properly.

Intermittent eaters – these folks are basically pickers. They pick at their food. They examine it, they taste it, they settle on those items they find tasty or better looking. Who knows, they might have been raised in a well to do family where food was abundant and folks used to eat multiple meals but in smaller portions. A great example is the Spaniards. They eat 5-6 times per day and never seem to gain any weight.

Perfect eaters – they take their time and they savor each bite. They try everything in the plate settling for the most desirable morsels. They are into leisure dining. They treat meal times with respect … a time with family or friends, a break in an otherwise turbulent outside world. They love all kinds of food and do not mind trying new or exotic dishes. They do not seem to worry about their weight or calories intake.

I will skip commenting too deeply about Compulsive Eaters out of fear to offend friends and relatives. Many become obese and spend most of their lives searching for weight loss programs or cures. Even though they might shed pounds, they revert compulsively to earlier habits and put the weight back on. They satisfy their hunger with quantity not necessarily quality. Psychologists suggest that these people have unmet oral needs. I don't envy them at all. I feel sorry for them instead.

Now lets shift our journey in a different direction. Let’s look at tactics. This element might perhaps reveal a part of their personality:

Salting – Some folks salt their food prior to tasting it. They assume from the start that their food is not salty enough. The problem is that once you salt your food you cannot un-salt it. The only apparent remedy seems to be to drink more fluids. I associate this behavior with an impulsive personality. They seem to act before they think. I could be wrong on this one. It could probably be a learned behavior.

Salads – Europeans like to have their salad after the main meal as a way to fill up any empty spots in their belly. Americans, on the other hand, like to start their meal with a large salad as a way of stimulating their appetite. Internationalists might choose to skip salads all together eager to try an appetizer or two. I don’t know about you, I like salads as a starter in lieu of appetizers.

Dessert – this is the tell-all variable. Some folks do not consider their meal complete unless they have had some sugar. For the health conscious, fruit is a great substitute. For some the decision is not theirs, but their spouses. How many times have you seen a lady tell her husband to order a dessert so that she might taste it? Weight conscious people see pounds rather than slices or cups. They are terrified by the prospect. A few will smile and rub their hands when the treat arrives. These are my people!

Cheese – our French cousins will often by-pass dessert for a table full of exotic cheeses. Few other nationalities can keep up with the French. At last count, the French have over 225 different kinds of cheese. Italians and Spaniards like to mix things up. They will marry cheese with thick marmalades and call them Romeo and Juliet. I have observed this method in use in Brazil as well.

Aperitifs – some like to start things off with a Cinzano or a fruity wine. Others will choose instead a mixed drink such as martini, daiquiri, old fashion, a gin and tonic and so forth. This is territory for the sophisticates, connoisseurs and gourmands. Folks who live outside this territory don’t even know what an aperitif is.

Digestivo – as the name implies, this is a drink to help you digest your meal. It is the frosting on the meal. Again, this is sophistication and cosmopolitan territory. Folks living outside this territory do not seem to need help with their digestion. I envy these people! Life is much simpler that way.

By now you must be thinking that you have heard enough. Nothing new! The subject might even bore you.  I want to take you in a different direction now. Life itself.

Do you rush through life without stopping to smell the proverbial roses? Perhaps, this piece will suggest that you should slow down and enjoy the journey.

Are you a person of habit? In everything you do, you have a checklist that you feel you have to complete in order to make the trip worthwhile?

Are you a butterfly? Are you going from flower to flower catching and dispensing the pollen without stopping and feasting on a particular gift or relationship? You are not alone. Many people inhabit this territory.

Do you jump to conclusions too quickly and salt your view beyond what is necessary or even useful? Too much salt may get in the way of bonding with other people. It might even become a deterrent. It is also bad for your health e.g.; high blood pressure.

Are you investing the proper time and energy in things that matter to you? Your family? Your job? Your church? Your hobbies? Your health?

I hope to have stimulated in you the need to take a critical assessment of your life and to isolate the things that matter most to you.  There are no right or wrong answers to these and other questions. You are the ultimate arbiter as well as the ultimate beneficiary.

Have a roadmap on how to live a better life! It will help you stay on course without losing your God-given spontaneity. 

Good luck along your learning curve.